Shagging Sheep - Are you one of us?

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General: Age:   years Gender: Male Female Don't know Education level: Primary school High school College University Agricultural school School of life Other (specify)    Profession: Farming Commerce Industrial Education Technical Administration Research Sheep shearing The world's oldest No Other (specify)    Population where you live: Millions Thousands A few houndred I know most of them There's just me and the sheep Have you ever suffered from any of the following diseases? (you may check off more than one alternative) Kreuzfeldt-Jacob Plague Measles Be-bah Foot-and-mouth disease Udder inflammation Wool fever Don't know   Personality: Which of the following terms do most precisely describe your temperament? Energetic Passionate Spontaneous Irritable Jumpy Melancolic Completely mad Balanced Introverted Apathetic Describe your social behaviour: Shy Swaggering Sociable Horny Boring Sheepish A chameleon Exuberant Nerveous Popular Dont't know I never meet anybody (it's just me and the sheep) Do you love animals? Oh, yes! As long as they don't bite Only the cute and furry ones Yes, on my dinner plate There's nobody special in my life at the moment We're only friends No, that's revolting!   Taste: What's your hair like? Michael Stipe Rowan Atkinson Oprah Winfrey Ozzy Osborne Cosmo Cramer Dame Edna Don King Patsy Stone Barry Gibb Johnny Cash Maggie Thatcher Other (specify)    What kind of clothes do you prefer? Hottest fashion (however stupid) Spectacular Suit and a tie Dress Mini skirt All dressed up Gray and boring Loose and comfortable Bright colours All black No clothes at all Couldn't care less Other (specify)    Thanks to Loric What's the prettiest? (you may check off more than one alternative) A flowery meadow A medow with grazing sheep A woman in sexy underwear A man in sexy underwear A sheep in sexy underwear Venus of Milo Landscape painting Non-figurative art Painting of cute children Painting of a deer in the sunset Painting of a cute sheep in the sunset (wearing sexy underwear) A wooden church Empire State Building A slaughterhouse A sportscar An 18-wheel truck A Fender Stratocaster Who is the prettiest? Dame Edna David Letterman A chimp Sean Connery Claudia Schiffer Liberace Woody Allen Mel B Mel C Mel Gibson Mel Smith Dolly Parton Dolly Duck Angelina Jolie Saddam Hussein Maggie Thatcher Lassie Roseanna Barr Mom Don't know What's your favourite music? (you may check off more than one alternative) Children's songs Ballads Country Rock Pop hits Pop music in general Jazz Classical Folk music Traditional dances Oldies Animal sounds Shagging Sheep Whatever my friends like I don't like music   Sexual orientation and experience: What's your dominant sexual orientation? Very straight and boring Queer as a three-dollar bill Neutral Anything that's fun S&M MS I'm not sure, really Auto-erotic Celibacy Any additional preferences? (you may check off more than one alternative) Underwear Outer wear (wool) Shoes Purses Harnesses, straps, halters, etc. Rubber, plastic, latex, PVC, acryl, bakelite, etc. Bad taste in general Anglophilia Uniforms Mutton stew Other (specify)    Have you ever: (you may check off more than one alternative) Pinched somebody's bottom?    - with pliers? Had sex with someone who's name you can't remember?    - with someone you don't like?    - with someone of your own gender?    - someone from another country?    - someone with a different skin colour?    - someone of a diffent species? Used groceries as sex-toys? Used sex-toys to prepare food? Picked someone up in a public restroom?    - in an airplane lavatory? Kissed several persons at the same time? What do you prefer? To be married To live with someone without getting married To be free and available To be left alone To live in a collective To watch To watch TV A combination Don't know   Case analysis: You've been asked to write a birthday song, and the deadline is the following day. What do you do? Consider it impossible, and refuse Steal a big radio hit, and claim it's your song Buy a piano and music paper, hoping this will give you inspiration Buy three bottles of wine, and stay up all night writing No problem. You can always come up with something at the spur of the moment You're out on the town one night, and run into one of the guys from Shagging Sheep. What do you do? Comment on the nice hairdo Impress him by singing all their songs Beg him to let you join the band You're speechless from admiration Start to talk about music Start to talk about politics Pick a quarrel Ignore him completely Creep under the table, and fall asleep Impossible to say You're out walking, and find a sheep laying on it's back. What do you do? Go on walking (it's not your sheep) Help it up on it's feet Knock it in the head, take it home, and make a stew Alert the owner Make a gentle and romantic approach You're in a taxi, and it turns out the driver knows everything about how to govern the country. What do you do? Play along Tell him you're a psychologist, hoping it will shut him up Tell him you're a psychopath, hoping that will shut him up Jump out of the car Sing loudly: "NA-NA-NA-NA...", covering your ears Knock him in the head, take him home, and make a stew You have a day off. What do you do? Get completely plastered Read a good book Play in a band Have a good time with friends and family Thousands of important tasks Cook a stew Fill in idiotic questionaries on the internet Calculate result:         *** Test result ***

Shagging Sheep © Bender / Svartfaen
2000-12-04